Saturday, February 15, 2014

Bob in a Bag...................by Diane Ogden

No new crazy Bob stories today.  He still runs to the kitchen when he hears the freezer door open for his small piece of ice to chase around. 

He still lays by the laptop heater on the dining room table that is not used for eating purposes.

He still torments Gracie Allen dog and Lucy Lou cat......  He is all boy!+

And he has found a new seat on my brand new bar stool.....which I have moved near the sunny window.  I think he has Seasonal Affect Disorder from this LONG winter.  Come Spring I think there will be some new and fun Bob Benjamin Morrison Ogden stories to share.  Looking for an apartment or Condo with a screened in porch. 
Watching for some new "Catales." 

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

The New Addition ....................by Diane Ogden

Something icky happened to me when I went to get my hair tweaked.  I had spent over two years growing it out from one of those god awful chop cuts the teens and some others get these days.  You know where pieces of hair just hang in all different lengths.  I am from an era of Romance.  Gorgeous locks of thick sensual hair.  No matter what age. 

Without saying too much in case the wrong person (who cut my hair) might read this,  I was so upset I went and self medicated by purchasing a very large. 6' paper mache, covered in leather, Giraffe I have since named Gerry.  Thank God he was on sale for a reasonable price...

I did take into consideration Bob BMO might attempt to climb said Gerry the Giraffe.  But the hairdo and loss of the long all one length two year growth was so overwhelming that I didn't care.  If Bob BMO wanted to find his way to Gerry's back and lounge there, fine.  Just no using him for a scratching tree. 

I got Gerry home but not without some trouble.  Putting a six foot Giraffe in a Honda CRV was a trick. 

Then getting him out and up the elevator was another trick.  With the help of the teeny tiny but strong neighbor girl, we got the job done.  And then I waited and watched for any signs of Bob deciding to pull animal world hierarchy on Gerry.  But Bob did nothing but stare at the monster in the sun room.  Maybe it's his inner primal ancestor "bit cat,"  feeling at home in our jungle room.

Bob and Barbie, A Love Hate Relationship...............by Diane Ogden

Most humans have experienced  the meaning of a love/hate relationship at some point in their lives.  Either with a relative such as a mother, sister, or husband, wife.   I personally do not believe the love/hate is in any way normal but it does exist more often than most realize.   Pretty much called dysfunctional as I recall. 

The Love/Hate dysfunction happened to Bob Benjamin Morrison Ogden as of last week.  Things had been going pretty level around here in terms of cat worlds anyway.  Then suddenly there it was before my eyes on his favorite spot on the dining room table next to his (laptop) heater. 

He had fallen for Barbie.  She wore a beautiful pink tutu adorned with full phase netting.  A tight pink sweater and her hair had been done in long blonde curls.  Bob hugged her for a long glorious awe struck half hour.  Well it seemed like it anyway. He was caressing her body while licking her neck so tenderly and with amorous adoration. He held her gently with his eyes closed and all four paws. His tail gently moved gently swaying as if to signal his intentions. 

And then something happened.  I think it was when he noticed she was not responding to his affections that his ears went back and his nails came out and her hair went everywhere like the scene from an electric storm.  The rejection from deep within his soul came pouring out like a dam whose gates just opened in the springtime with the raging waters swirling in every direction.  It was a horrible sight to behold.  I was about to intervene when he tossed her off  his table like distasteful garbage.  He then majestically sat up peering off the edge down upon her dead still body. It reminded me of the National Geographic specials when the lion kills the zebra.  And he wasn't finished.  Oh God he wasn't finished yet.  He plunged downward lying next to her.  I heard a faint sound coming from him so I drew closer.  Yes, he was moaning his loss.  He then reached out to her like he was calling her back from the dead.  His paw gestured as to speak how sorry he was and how much he had loved her.  But she did not move.  He waited breathlessly.  Nothing.  

Then he just got up and walked away as if to say,  "All in a days play!"

More Cat Tales later........