The Bob Benjamin Morrison Ogden Coup...................by Diane Ogden

I think I am going crazy.  Gracie Allen is following my every step and scratching on my legs to be held and so on.  Lucy is meowing 24/7 so I am trying to appease her.  She has been in the background of Bob for so long she is upset.  She has had to play the ars end of the hierarchy ladder in this house for almost a year.  I suspect she is up to her eyeballs in pissed off.  Actually it appears to be more like she is a gentle sweetheart who just wants time back with her mama, mwah.  Gracie too.  What to do?  Bob doesn't give a crap. He is a super passive young male feline who wonders what all the hullabaloo is about.  He is a bit pushy but only a bit.  Nothing like the drama the other two are experiencing and passing along to me.  This is a dang critter nightmare.  I have given them all my all.  I think in my hour of definite despair that they all need to get a life inside this little apartment.  Its not like I haven't gotten them any toys etc.  And or love and attention.  They are all in my bed every night and they surround me like a wagon train in being attack - every day.  I need a vacation from them.

My point is that suddenly before the new year arrives they seem to know it by the way.....Lucy and Gracie have pulled rank on Bob Benjamin Morrison Ogden.  They are putting him back from his number one position. Back down in the chair and off the table by the laptop! And my life has been turned into mush from this nutzo mess!  I want to go to work!  I had to stay home today due to my helper getting the flu-ey!  No more thank you.    And my New Years Resolution is that they all deal with it.  I feel like that guy on TLC who has way too many flippin wives and children.  (I cant watch that crap but I see the ads. SICKO)  Now I suppose I will end up on the nightly news for saying having 6 wives and 30 children is SICKO.  Hey, bring it on!)
P.S.  Bob doesn't give a hoot about all this.  He just goes and lays down somewhere else.  The other two are the nut cases in turn obliging mwah of the same.  HELP!

The Thief...............................by Diane Ogden

Obviously Bob Benjamin Morrison Ogden is the thief indeed.  He is a jealous soul. I dislike jealous people and animals.  WHY would the Universe send me more jealous souls into my life when I dislike that nasty spirit so badly.  Jealously is awful.  Jealousy is a bully.  Jealousy is all consuming and it takes over and it fills the room with yuk.  \ (  

Grace has a jealous spirit.  Bob has a jealous spirit.  A couple close family members have it lest I say no names so to be safe.  Grace follows me every minute of my day wanting to be held.  And every minute of my night wanting to be closer to me than Bob.  
Bob does not follow me.  He rather chases Lucy down and steals her chair bed, her spot on the cat tree, and if she jumps on the bed at night where she has slept for years, he chases her away.  I have to get up and give him a small swat along with a loud NO!  So far it is not working.  He tries to steal her food, and when she poo's he crouches down like he is going to get her in her intimately private moment of pooing.  Again I shout Nooo Bob!
This time I caught a pic of the thief in action!  Seeping in Lucy's chair bed!
So.....this is the bad side of my Bob.  And it's a bad side indeed!  Doesn't he look proud of himself though?  Oh Lord help me!   This is the way it used to be....Lucy and Gracie Allen!

                                            The Bed Takeover.....below.  Grace and Bob...no Lucy  :(

The Christmas Candy Cane....................by Diane Ogden

Today I got all my presents wrapped and placed under the tree while I had a dang fever of near 100 degrees!  Then I finished a couple other weekend chores before I sat down to check facebook to see what other people are doing today.  Or because I am just bored.  We got mega snow overnight so traveling about was not an option.  Nor was it due to the dang fever.

I sat on the sofa to catch a bit or rest and some of  Long Island Medium show.    As I was resting along strolls passive Bob Benjamin Morrison Ogden very carefully like a Lion prowling over to the presents.  He surveyed the gifts, all of which have no bows.  Only one package has a candy cane taped onto the outside with one little piece of scotch tape.  He reached for that candy cane and called it his own.  I did not know cats liked peppermint.  Actually it is an organic peppermint candy cane.  Must be a difference.

           He started out on top of the cushion until his large derriere dragged him down.  He is hanging on by his nails.  He doesn't look too uncomfortable does he?  Should have seen it from the other side!  I was vacuuming, that is why the upside down stool next to Bob.  
                               
                                                              More "Cat Tales" later.

FOOD! Gimmie my FOOD..................by Diane Ogden

I no longer free feed Bob Ogden.  He is fifteen pounds and cant jump very far at all.  He needs steps to get up on about anything.  He gets 1/2 dish a.m. and p.m.  Hope that is enough.
I mix up several different dry cat foods in a dish and then transfer that to large jars.  I was in the process of doing the above when Bob B.M.O. jumps up on bar stool, then to counter top, then high wire walks the sink to get to the huge bowl of food. And in her went FEET FIRST!  He must have thought he had struck oil in human terms of thought anyway.  Maybe he just thought WOW, FOOD.  And he began eating and I let him!  For a while anyway.  Mr. Bob B.M.O.  is quite the character indeed.  I would call him a passive cat with odd tendencies.
He still charges into the kitchen when he hears the ice tray come out.  And I give him a large chip to play with.  And he does just that after staring at it for a bit.

                                                         "FEET FIRST!"

       More "Cat Tales" later..........

You Have my Backside! Literally........by Diane Ogden

 Lucy decided to use her bravery card and jump up in Bob's usual spot.  BUT:  He was adamant at this decision and turned his back to us.  It was very clear what he was thinking.....

"Get outta my spot woman!"  (Poor Lucy)

Fifty Shots of Grey.........................by Diane Ogden

It truly isn't as bad as it looks!  And it looks bad (ass).  Bob in inside his tunnel on his Cat Tree.
He was playing with a hanging toy when I caught this killer look.

Sometimes Bob doesn't show facial expressions like some cats.  Although there are times he looks mean and others he looks content.  He is a rascal no doubt.

                               Lucy is above him on the ledge!

                                       Hey Mom!  Stop already...you got "fifty shots of grey already!"

Bubby "THUD".............................by Diane Ogden

I realize this is not a photographers choice picture but take into consideration it is 7:00 a.m. Saturday morning.  I could have slept in but I was woke, awaken, woken, waked, (ha) awoken....wait!  I could have slept in accept I felt a constricted sensation.  I sat up in the still quite dark room considering the early hour of the day,  and saw the critters in a jealous move on my person.  Each never allows the other to get ahead in the area of "mama time." Grabbing my camera phone that felt whose lighted face felt the sun piercing my pupils in a sudden rush....I managed to turn the flash to "ON."  So this is rear viewing for you but for me it was face front of the rear runts.  After flashing several shots neither of them felt any need to move, probably because they are so used to me taking their pictures, so I just laid back down and tried to go to sleep.   That is when I heard the thud along with nails clutching the blanket clinging to life on the side of the bed.   Thank God it wasn't my leg!  I abruptly sat up at the same time saying,
"B O B!"   Yup, there he was sitting stunned on the floor several feet down.  (I have one of those high beds)  I slid down to the little stool and onto the floor.  Bent over and picked him up, sat him back on the bed.  He wasn't dead.

I have been concerned this would happen on the table where he lays by the laptop...but it went down in the bedroom on an early Saturday morning in the dark.

Poor Bubby.  He is too fat.  But he is okay.  Me on the other hand...I will survive and hopefully he wont fall out of bed tonight or tomorrow morning...  Maybe I need rails.  Or maybe I should merely scoot over to the middle of my Queen sized bed.  I just cant.  I sleep on the left side and that is the only place I can sleep.  I know because I have tried okay?  I just hope I didn't kick Bob off by accident.   Enough on the vet bills already!  

Time to clean for all the family coming for Christmas.  That's a joke, no one is coming.  Just Santa and me.  That is, when I find him, and then I am going to keep him! Ho, Ho, Ho!  

More "Cat Tales" later.