O)LD POST I SAVED........... We made it thru Bob and me!! He's a keeper

Male Mammory Glands ..........by Diane Ogden (Written September 2013) OLD SAVED BLOG POST

　

　

So this Bob Ogden, now.  As I have written in "Cat Tales," came to me very sick last February.  I spent $600 getting him well.  He bit my granddaughter and caused family issues. He is jealous of my dog and my other cat who has sight issues so I must keep them separate which causes issues for me. He tries to bite my dog because I give the dog more attention.    I carry her around so he cannot reach her. Why have I not taken him to the "Humane" Society? Because they told me they cant adopt him out as he bites. So - Yuppers, I got me a sit-che-a-tion! What to do? IDK. I just cant kill him is all. How humane is that? He used to be so loving until he got well and thought I cared more about the dog, which caused jealousy biting. He doesn't bite often, just now and then randomly. Just like a human yet unable to reason this out or speak it out.  (He has since stopped biting unless you touch his humungous tummy)

I sincerely need that Cat whisperer fellow on the TV but I suspect he costs thousands. No I pretty much know it. I tried whispering Bob, Bob Benjamin, but he just looks at me like, "Ah actions speak louder then whispering lady!" I get it. I just do not know how to fix it. He needs a one animal one person home. And more activity considering he is humongous! I can hardly lift him and he has trouble jumping up on the sofa. Actually he is unable to jump onto the table. He has to do the chair first and then the table. He is very careful to jump down and actually it should be called clumps down.

I feel like his spirit is crumbling. He used to follow me everywhere, scampering behind me and almost tripping me. Now he has given up some. He knows the routine. In the spare room ALONE at night (I put TV on low so he isn't alone) In the morning I leave the other cat in my room and Buddy gets to be with me (and the dog) for three hours. Then he goes to my bedroom for the work day ALONE. When I get home the other cat has to go to my bedroom ALONE until bedtime so Buddy can be with dog and I for five hours. Then back to spare room for the night and so on. I guess he is alive and not sick anymore, yet fat and somewhat lonely. So what do I do? (No wonder he is pissed off)

Sorry this isn't very interesting. Guess this is a thorn in my side I must figure out somehow and I do believe there is way for a better life for my lil fat boy Bob Ogden.

When they ask me to donate on the key pad at the Pet Smart Store I quickly hit NO! I have done donated enough for many a year thank you. And p.s. he favors my dogs special diet food at $2.69 a can which should last for three days for the dog unless Bob gets his share when I''m not looking.

Maybe he's a classy cat after all and I just need to give him some more time to feel more secure and not bite anyone. Seems to be his forte. I cant spell that. I wonder if Google can tell what word I was going after there. I wonder if I even know for sure. No matter, you get it.

I think I am doing what they call, "Crying out for help?" Ya think! There is an answer and I shall find it. I will Google what Saint helps the needy animals, that's what I will do. I am not Catholic but I strongly believe in the Saints! Hey look at St. Jude and St. Christopher. They got it down. But I suspect there are some quieter Saints that got a good thing going too and I will find them.

Bob deserves a chance. Besides he is an expensive lil son of a something. He does love to play and just wants to be loved by one person, no other "beings" around to contend with and then the biting will stop. (He doesn't do it much, just random as I said) And what's with the humongous mammary glands on a guy cat? Seriously. Maybe he is a transvestite cat. Or maybe he is a gay cat? Hey I am just trying to figure it out okay? We, or I got an issue here, see? I am reaching out to the Universe, or facebook, or friends, or family, or God, or Buddha, or the Catholic Saints, for sakes sakes. I was going to say for God sakes, but I had already bypassed that one which my Lutheran brethren would faint over. Hey they have had wars over it so fainting over it means some evolvement has occurred. The Pope would care. Most don't care about Bob Benjamin Morrison Ogden, but I do. Later.....on a lighter note I am sure.

 

Do I Look Fat?..........................by Diane Ogden

"I can still get in this basket!"  I can tell that is what Bob is thinking.  I was watching him for about fifteen minutes as he sized up the situation.  The Basket.  As well as sizing up his own size.  He must know....you know, that he is obese.  And no I am no longer free feeding him.  He gets 1/3 jar of Gerber Ham baby food every morning. Lucy gets the other 2/3.  Then 1/4 bowl of dry hairball corrective food morning and night.  That's  it!

He is workin' it.  Workin' it.  Reminds me of the old days when I had to lay on my bed to get my jeans zipped up.  OMG glad those days are over.  Bob is still youthful and vain so I play along.

I do not know how he managed this.  He is fifteen pounds.  That basket is 8.5" x 15".  I would think he might get cramps.  I suspect cats don't get cramps as I heard no screaming like we humans do when cramps hit.

As I am typing this post he reaches over onto the keyboard  and cups my ring finger inside his paw.  You can see how he has cupped it with his claw holding on.  He is an amazing fat fellow.

More "Cat Tales" Later......

Happy Cat....................by Diane Ogden

We as humans should all have the secure happy attitude Bob Benjamin Morrison Ogden has.  He gives joy and laughter.  He is soft and cuddly.  He is just needy enough. He is mischievous to the place of funny.  He is attentive as in following me everywhere including the bathroom. He sits in the shower on a rug (I leave for him)  and waits for me.  He watches me cook.  He sleeps with me.  He sits/lays next to my laptop and or PC whichever I am using  He is so secure, much more than I am.  What a guy.   I am blessed to have had him come into my life.  Even though I tried to give him away for months!!  Ssshh. I do not want him to know. There was a power greater than I that keep this mess going until I could see the forest for the trees or however that goes.  I always did pic the wrong men and let the right ones go.  This time I did it right.  Even though its "just" a cat.  I believe this one might be a blessed one.  I finally took on a positive rescue!  Either that or its merely my turn in the universal scheme of things.  More "Cat Tales" later....

That Evil Feline Woman!................by Diane Ogden

I just want to touch her.   I just want to chase her and catch her and bite her neck.  I just want her to like me.  And all she does is holler, scream,  hit me and scratch me.  Why?  Maybe I love her.  If she'd let me get closer I wouldn't try so hard and bite her and stuff.  I feel like I have to chase her everywhere to get any attention. I even follow her up onto Mom's counter....  Look what that got me?  Bee-atch- Lucy!

 

 

What's a guy to do? 

See No Evil, Or Anything.....................by Diane Ogden

I have had several cats in my lifetime.  One that lived 19 years.  Another  I moved here from Texas and was a sweet friend for years....   But this one!!  This one is a little actor.  Little Actor Bob Benjamin Morrison Ogden!  Oh yeah.  Not one that can be trained for movies, but one that is a natural!  He seems to do poses everyday for mwah.  Some I cant get photos of because I am in them.
I need a head cam for this cat!  He loves to lay next to the laptop.  Of course its not because he wants to be close to me which is what I thought.....nope, its the heat coming from the vent.  I personally think he needs a kitty heating pad.  His best poses are next to the laptop under heated conditions.  Maybe I would also do special poses of my my life under heated conditions.  Okay, so that was R rated Bob blog.....or mama blog.  Fifty Shades of Mama.  No there is no sucha blog so do not get excited as there is no sucha blog.  Some of my friends may get upset over this and some excited.  I lead a well rounded life as you see.  But Bob B.M.O. is the coolest part of it at present. He makes me laugh.  He gives me a reason.  He loves my camera (I think).  Who is he anyway?  He is the only thing that came from the "funny farm" where I was raised that makes one hoot of sense.  What does that say?

I am just kidding right?
Bob is real.....
And he just wants some peace next to a warm laptop next to his new Mom! Works for me.

Culver's Chicken Cashew Salad..................by Diane Ogden

A couple times a month I purchase a Culver's Chicken Cashew Salad at $6.63 with F as in French just in case they give me R as in Ranch which has happened.  I get home and no dressing.  Lactose intolerant to the Ranch.  I get angry.  Dry salad no thank you.  Well it appears Bob Benjamin Morrison Ogden likes F as in French also.  I walked to the kitchen for a cold drink, turned around and he was in it.  I actually allowed it long enough to pic up the Samsung and flick the pic.  I think he was more curious than really into the heavy French dressing.

He is such a hoot!

More Cat Tales later.  Today he tried to help me fix the printer.  We were successful! Praise the Universe. 

Where Did That Name Come From? ........................by Diane Ogden

The name Bob Benjamin Morrison Ogden came from my family.  I was raised on a "funny farm."  You know, like the psychiatric floor at the local huge hospital.  Oh just kidding in case a fam member reads this and really believes it.  You can, but I would deny it to them.  (Like they don't know!) Back to Bob B.M.O.

My high school sweetheart was named Bob.
The love of my life was named  Bob.
One of my husbands was named Bob.
So that is why Bob is NOT named after any of them.

My best friends have a tiger cat named Bob Sullivan. That is who my Bob is named after.
When I decided to start a Bob blog for no particular reason except I am in need of creative outlets.....
Well, Bob just wasn't cutting it as a name for my blog.  So my mind went into immediate mojo and just said aloud,  Bob Benjamin Morrison Ogden.  
Benjamin is my deceased Father's middle name.
Morrison is my Southern Maternal Granddaddy.
Ogden is a name I have kept because my children carry it also.  But I would love to lose it.  Considering the second husband named Ogden was a womanizer, a peter pan, and a job and residence hopper.  A no security brainer.   So I changed my  name when I write but otherwise I am stuck with the dang thing.
I probably should not have stuck Bob with any of those names, come to actually think about it.
I do numerology and Bob adds up to a 10 which equals a 1.  Yes Bob likes to be number 1 indeed.  At night he curls up next to my chest and Gracie dog who also likes to be number one hugs my back.  I cant move!  Not so sure I like this competition over my sleeping area.
This is not a "Cat Tale."   This is an informational tid bit. LOL Who cares...
More Cat Tales coming.